Meditations on Life

I have heard it said that life is a gift. I find this notion a little strange because if life is a gift, it is the only gift I know where there is no recipient at the time of the transaction. The “gift” creates the recipient. The “gift” is the recipient.

I have been told I should be grateful for life, this gift, even though I did not ask for it as far as I can tell.

I have been told that life is precious. I agree that life is miraculous, that a physical object can move and have consciousness and reproduce. But there are all these rules in life. There are things I am not allowed to do. I was given this life where (if I am to believe what my religion requires me to believe) I am in danger of being eternally damned to hell if I do the wrong thing. That cannot be true, can it? If it is true, what kind of gift is that? Perhaps it would have been better not to receive the gift in the first place. Did I at some point have the opportunity to refuse the gift? Not if I did not exist before the gift was given.

On the other hand, life is interesting. People seem to want to hold on to it and preserve it. It certainly has value and seems vastly preferable to non-existence. And there is beauty to life amidst the pain and hardship. Now that I have life I cannot imagine not having it or throwing it away. I suppose I am grateful for it.

Can life properly be termed a “gift” or is it something else? To create, to bring consciousness into being is not quite the same thing as a gift. It is akin to a gift perhaps. But it is not quite a gift.

People do not create other people, they beget them. Begetting is akin to creating but is not quite the same. Begetting is different from creating in that there is not complete control in the process. It is something set in motion but then it creates itself on its own. God the Son was begotten not made. Man, however, was created presumably with the full knowledge and control of God, at least in the creation process.

I have been told man was endowed by God with free will. If this is true, perhaps life is more akin to a science experiment than a gift. A scientist may have a vague sense of sympathy for his subjects, but a proper scientist keeps a healthy distance to maintain objectivity.

But I do not want life to be a science experiment. I want it to be a gift. I want there to be a loving God. I want there to be a loving God who created me to be the recipient of myself as only a loving God could do.

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